Senseless logic…

A mail in my inbox one morning:

Once a plane lost its way flying somewhere in United States. It had to find its way back to its destination. Knowing not what to do, the people in airplane hanged out a large cloth with a question written on it which asked:

"Where are we?"...

The plane was moving above a huge building and seeing the cloth, lots of people gathered on top of the building. Pilot of the plane noticed that the people over the building had started spreading a similar cloth with an answer written on it. And the answer said.. :

"You guys are Inside a Plane"....

The pilot confidently turned the plane in right direction and reached its destination...Upon reaching, when people asked him how did he find his way home, he gave his reason.. He told that after seeing the answer written on the cloth, he got assured that the building was Company “M” office because “M” people always give answers which were logically very correct but practically useless...


I had a good laugh reading the mail and it reminded me of another joke I know.

**************************

In the joke, someone was trying to find out the address of a school.. It goes on like this:

A: Can you please help me in finding this School, named X?
B: I know…It is on the opposite side of the Hospital Y..
A: Well I am sorry to bother you more but where is the Hospital Y then?
B: let me see.. it is the opposite side of School X you know…
A: I m lost now..can you please tell me where are these two places, School X and Hospital Y..!!!
B: They off course are in front of each other , you moron…



**************************


Logic is a strange thing…It can be invented and reinvented and still can be re-invented further….it can be molded and re-molded and still can be re-molded further… All these inventions and remolding of the logic could at last bring some sense out of it ..but all these exercise could, at times, leave a pile of logic with no substance in it..

Some people have got their logic straight, some have got it skewed and some have got it upside down..

There is a category of people who would bring a logic which would seem to be coming from nowhere but they would mold it to suit their requirements.. Most politicians across the world are good in this trick.

Yet another category of people who would bring in a logic which could be molded in any direction without making any sense.. While the prior category of people introduce logics which have got no Origin, the later category draw logics which do not have any Destination.. Managers across the world do fall in this category…

There is yet another category of people who have got logic which would take them to the place which was the start of their chase and their intellect gets nullified.. This category of individuals is very fascinating. They take you for a ride which never ends .. This is the category of Diplomats …

**************************

The Guy B in the joke always amazed me.. and I am helplessly dragged to write about few of those Guy B , I got to deal with in life.. People who give answers which are very logical but very useless..
I haven’t decided to write about the experiences to offend anyone.. but just to emphasize that all Logic and no Sense can be so frustrating at times…

Candidate 1 ( The Politician):

She was unwell, she was alone and she was my friend.. so there I was, preparing food for her inside her kitchen. Like kitchens reflect the personality of their functional heads, hers was reflecting hers… nothing was kept in the visible territory ..every single ingredient was kept like strictly guarded secrets..!!..
I did not want to disturb her with my queries of “Where is what?” and “What is where?”.. but I had no other choice after I failed to find anything in her kitchen even after using all my Analytical and Logical Acumen to guess the place of each of those items…
So I asked her the place of black pepper in her kitchen.. The conversation went on like this:

Me: Hey “M”, where do I find black pepper?
She: I put it in a small container.
Me: …!!!!!.... so where?
She: it’s a blue color container.. Do u see it?
Me: No, where u keep it?
She: In corner.
Me: …!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..... There are four corners in Kitchen.. :-(
She : The one behind the door.
Me:…!!!!...:-S….!!!!!... Three doors… :-(
She : Come on Zarin, Listen to me carefully.. I am talking about the exit door, the one which opens in the balcony…Behind the exit door, inside the cupboard..

Me : Okay, Thanks.

Now her answer sounded informative to me and I went and checked behind the exit door.. to my annoyance I saw 3 small cup-board behind the door.. Instead of disturbing her more with my queries I decided to look in the cupboards for any blue color container… I opened all three cupboards and was exasperated to find around 30 odd containers of different sizes in one of the cupboards … and most of them were blue..!!!!.. I randomly opened few of them but gave up soon..

Me: Hey “M”, Sorry to disturb you again but how do I find out from all these blue containers..!!!.
And before I hear her telling me the well-kept-secret, she was already in the kitchen, looking irritated with me…

She: Here it is… The third row in 1st cupboard.. The 2nd container.. that’s how… !!!!.. It is simple.. if you keep things at place, you find them easy… that’s why I ask you to be more organized in kitchen .. Improve yourself in such things Zarin , before you become too old to change anything in you….!!!...

And there she was……Gone with the wind… And I was left blinking defensively..:-(…

**************************

Candidate 2 ( The Manager) :
I was working in a telecom billing project. He was my colleague. There was an issue reported by a customer. The mobile recharge was not happening for him during a specific time. I needed his help to resolve the issue. I wrote him a mail and after a full day work he replied with his ‘Analysis’.. our mails went on like this

My Mail:

Hi “P”,

As discussed I am providing the inputs I got to help you look into the issue further:

Customer reported the failure in recharge with error code 32 which maps to “Invalid Recharge card” error; however the recharge card is valid. The issue comes during off peak time when other batch jobs run in parallel. It might happen that the row is locked during night due to batch jobs, causing the issue. Please provide your inputs to help me in further analysis.
Thanks



His Mail after spending a full day analyzing the issue:

Hi Zarin,

I noticed below things in reported issue:

1: The Recharge Fails. It means that the subscriber is doing recharge but getting no money in his account.

2: The error code 32 maps to Invalid Recharge Card.. It means that the card used for recharge is not valid.

3:If you noticed correctly that the recharge card is valid then the error code returned is not correct.

4: The recharge was done during off-peak time. That means the recharge was done at time when the recharge traffic was less.

5:The batch jobs run at off-peak time.

6: Batch jobs tend to lock records.

7: Locking record might cause recharge to fail.

8: If recharge is done at off-peak time while other batch jobs run, the chances of recharge failing due to row lock is there.

Please use the above analysis and continue further testing to pin down the issue.

Hope this helps.

Thanks.

As soon as I finished reading above mail of his, there was another mail in my inbox from our Boss:

Thanks “P” for your detailed analysis. I appreciate your efforts. Hope this helps Zarin in pinning down the issue.

Regards


**************************

Candidate 3: ( The Diplomat ).

The restaurant was crowded. The waiter was frustrated and tired. The guy sitting next to my table was alone and lost. He kept looking at the menu card for long , as if searching for the truths of life there…
After what seemed like an eternity to me, he called the waiter to him and asked in a very concerned voice :

“ Egg-Bhurji me kya hoga?..” (What would be the ingredients of Egg-Bhurji )…

The waiter paused for few moments ..thought over the question being asked .. And then in a very assuring tone, replied :

“ Egg Bhurji me EGG hoga sir…” ( There would be Egg in the Egg-Bhurji sir)…

**************************